Top 10 Types of Customers I Can't Stand

So most of you who know me, know that I have worked in a grocery store for the past eight and a half years (yeah, so much for a summer job when I was 15). Anyway, what my almost 9 years in retail has taught me is to identify the type of customers that I absolutely cannot stand. While there is a wide variety of customers that drive me crazy, here are the top ten types of customers that I really can't stand (in no particular order):

1. Customers who want their bags specifically packed: I don't mean someone who has their own bags or wants paper in plastic or wants their bags packed lightly. I'm talking about that customer who stands there and dictates where each item should go. Frankly, if you're going to be so picky, pack the damn bags yourself. And, if you want certain items bagged together, make sure you put them on the belt that way.
2. Customers who have no idea how to use self-checkout: I really don't get what is so difficult about the self-checkout machines--you scan the item, put it in the bagging area, and then repeat. You have these spazzes that come up to the machine scan an item, put it in the bagging area, take it, put it back in, take it out, etc. You are confusing the machine! Don't turn around and give me a nasty look because you don't know what the hell you're doing. Also, remember, you are dealing with a machine, not a person. Therefore, there will be crashes, lags, and technical problems. Use at your own risk. And please, only use if you are intelligent enough to handle it.
3. Extreme couponers: Ever since TLC aired their show, I have seen an upswing in these type of customers. Granted, I have never had a customer with seven carts full of items and be able to pay nothing, but I have had one cartload go out the door and the customer only pay the tax. I understand that people use coupons when they are hard to do or have a big family. However, I have no respect for the people that own little shops and take advantage of our sales and their billion coupons to pay next to nothing only to jack up the prices in their own place to make a great profit. Not only is this illegal, it's also unfair to the customers that are legitimately trying to buy the sale product. I also can't stand the people who brag about their couponing and are nasty about it, espcially when I can't accept a coupon based on our policy. Don't give me attitude. If you have a problem, call corporate.
4. Customers who stay silent when you talk to them: I'm not asking for a full-blown conversation. I'm not asking for small talk. However, I am asking for some human courtesy. When I say, "Hi, how are you today?" you should respond, "Fine, thanks, how are you?" How hard is that? When you stare blankly at me when I ask how you are, that's incredibly rude. Just be polite, that's all. I'm going to add, and don't talk on your cell phone. It's rude to me and the customers behind you. Not to mention, no one wants to hear about your family or work drama. Keep that to yourself, please.
5. Customers who abuse the WIC program: This bugs me to no end! For those of you who don't know, WIC stands for Women, Infants, and Children, and it's a program that issues checks for certain products for families that are hard to do. I am all for government programs that help people in need...but it should really be for people who are in need. The WIC checks clearly state exactly what product and what sizes are permitted. Don't give me attitude when I tell you that the product you got is not WIC authorized. You have a copy of everything, you know what you can and cannot get. And I don't appreciate being told that I am wrong when clearly you are. Also, if you can whip out your iPhone to call hubby or wifey to find out what movie you're going to catch that night, then maybe you don't need WIC as badly as some other people. Also, you are given "X" amount of checks for the month in order to use a couple every week. If you save all 20+ checks for the end of the month, what are you doing for the whole month?
6. Customers who give attitude when I ask for their ID: I am required to ask for your ID. I can lose my job if I don't ID you and you happen to be underage. Don't get nasty because you have to go out to your car to get your driver's license. If you want to smoke cigarettes and spend over $8.00 a pack, that's your choice, but I'm not risking my job for you. And when you tell me "to commit it to memory this time" you can bet your ass I will ask for your ID every single time you come into the store.
7. The customers who habitually return items: I understand that sometimes we over buy, sometimes we purchase the wrong items, but there comes a point when you are returning all the time. What's the point of buying something if you're just goig to return it? Perhaps if you've never worked in retail, specifically the front desk or as a CSR, you won't understand what I'm saying. But if you have worked there or as one, you know that there are certain customers that are always coming in and returning items, most likely items that they didn't even buy in your store.
8. The customers who put items they don't want in random aisles or in the magazine/candy racks at the registers: What is so hard about walking up the to cashier, handing them the item you don't want, and saying, "I'm sorry but I decided I didn't want this product."? Don't you realize that anytime you put an item in a random aisle, someone has to find it and put it back where it should go. Also, it's really disgusting when you put a perishable item in an aisle, and then we find it hours later and it's melted or beginning to smell. Seriously, it's gross.
9. The customers who blame the store for their mistakes...even when they admit they were wrong: Case and point, I had a customer once who bought three items, believing that she would get an instant savings. Upon investigating on her own (i.e. rereading the flyer which clearly states four items must be purchased, not three), she says "I read the flyer wrong--I thought I only had to buy three items, not four. But you know, maybe you should hang up a huge sign so I remember what I'm supposed to buy." Umm...you misread the flyer. Just because you are illiterate, I shouldn't be blamed. Just admit fault. The customer is not always right.
10. The customers who think (and insist) that they are better than me because I work in a grocery store: I had a customer have a fit once because I wouldn't reopen a department for them at closing time. They insulted me to my face and told me that they were professionals and didn't deserve to be treated that way. Well...I'm a professional grocery store clerk and I don't deserve to be treated that way. Just because you might be on a salary and I'm paid hourly, doesn't mean I'm any less of a person. And frankly, if it weren't for people like my coworkers and me working in the grocery store, you would be harvesting your own food. Get over yourself. You're no better than me.

So that's it. Those are my 10 types of customers that I really can't stand. I'm sure I will think of more by tomorrow when I work my next shift. So until then...

I'll keep you posted xo