Why Do We Fall for Ones that Won't Fall Back?

Like a lot of things, I am guilty of this. I tend to fall for guys that don't fall back for me. It's frustrating right? You have these overwhelming emotions: you cry because you don't hear from them, you have those butterflies when you're in their company, you smile when you receive a text or a phone call from them. You have every stereotypical "love bug" symptom and don't know what to do with yourself.

Like I said in my last post, one of my biggest problems is my capacity to love and the fact that I can love unconditionally. While this is true, I also suffer from not being able to say it. I am so afriad of being rejected and not having the other person return those feelings that I clam up and don't say anything. In this day and age, I feel there is a lack of love and an abundance of not just hate, but "fake love" (celebrity marriages anyone?). What's so wrong with telling someone you love them? What's so wrong with loving someone so much that your heart wants to burst and you want to twirl around your living room channeling Julie Andrews as you burst into song?

I'm struggling with this now. I'm struggling because I thought I was over someone that I'm not. I'm in love and I can't say it because I don't think he feels the same way. Basically, I can't because it scares the shit out of me. No man has ever said he has loved me (I'm not talking about family love, but the "in love" kind of love). Not once has a guy wrapped me in his arms and whispered in my ear that he loved me. Okay, I'm old enough noq that I don't believe in fairy tales and I know that Walt Disney is a compulsive liar, but even a quick "I love you, Rach" would mean the world to me. More than the world, probably.

I feel like I'm being redundant. I feel like I'm talking in circles about the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry if I am; these thoughts just hit me out of nowhere and being the person that I am, I am compelled to write about it.

My advice to you all? Don't be like me. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. Don't be scared that they won't love you back. Maybe the won't, I can't promise they will. But at least you won't live with regret. You won't live with the aching pain I live with everday because I love someone and am too afraid to tell him. And most importantly, don't be afraid to love. It's such a wonderful thing--hard, but wonderful.

And because I can't say it to his face, I will just say it here: I love you.

I'll keep you posted xo